The Need to be Productive is what caused my Burnout... and I wish I could have Blamed it on my Corporate Job

I was on a call with a client last week, and we were talking about productivity, rest, burnout, and how they affect the physical body. But more importantly, the constant mental loop and where it was coming from.

I remember back in college and even after I was OBSESSED with my new iPhone. Why? Because I had my calendar and my emails all in one place.

I was literally more glued to my phone then, as a newly working woman, than I am now as someone whose job is to be on her phone. I would check my emails all day long and then come home from work and check my emails 50 more times before bed. Accepting work calls no matter what time of night it was. I was constantly wondering if anyone needed me? Did I miss something? If I just answered a couple more emails, I could get ahead for the next morning.

I left my corporate job 2 and a half years ago, and on my last day, I was like, this is so damn freeing!!! I was finally in a space where I could do the work I wanted to. No office hours. It was like this undeniable joy I can’t even begin to describe.

And as I started to build my Wellness by Kelley website, create my membership program, and see clients with a newborn and it felt like this whole new chapter of my life. Some life changes are really slow and gradual, but this one was cut clear. I deleted my work email, and it felt like a weight was lifted.

I would sit in my office while getting my IIN certification on nights and weekends and daydream about what life would be like when I didn’t have a 9-5. A life where I didn’t need to check emails all hours of the day, and I could go on vacation whenever I wanted because I could work from anywhere, right?! I just wanted to finally live a more chill life—one where I could be a mom AND work AND have true balance.

But as I set up my business as an entrepreneur, I was working just as hard, if not harder. It felt like everything was all up to me. If I didn’t do it, no one else would pick up the pace. What I thought was the problem with my corporate job was actually a problem with me.

I was still checking my emails all the time, accepting clients who texted or called at 9 PM, and now I had to manage this whole social media thing all on my own... posts, comments, DMs. It was endless, and I had ZERO boundaries.

I would sit down at night to listen to some relaxing music and write in my journal after I had worked from 10 - 6 and pull my laptop up to write a new workout or respond to a brand. I would take clients whenever I worked for them, even if it overlapped with plans that Chad and I already had. I would say yes to every workout someone wanted me to host or live meditation I could teach. I wanted to grow, and this whole mindset went on for months.

But then, Westie started getting bigger, and Chad started getting frustrated. And to be honest, I was frustrated with myself. Suppose I can’t just BE with my brand new amazing family; what was wrong with me. I had come so far in my relationship with rest from exercise. It was something that I truly knew how to listen to and honor but my relationship when it came to rest from productivity, that’s a whole different story.\

I thought to myself after an argument I had defended myself to Chad ... hey if I can’t take the time for myself and my family now that I left this corporate job... then when?

I took the next weekend off Instagram, something I do regularly for my mental health now, and allowed myself to be with my thoughts. And while it was so uncomfortable the first time, doing this has allowed me to experience more joy and peace in my day-to-day.

It’s not about being unproductive or lazy but realizing that there’s also value in rest. Value for our bodies and our minds, and that comes through an understanding of where the desire to be productive is coming from.

Who are you trying to prove yourself to?

Talking to my 1:1 clients about rest is one of the most important things we do. Until your mindset around that changes, none of the symptoms you’re feeling will change either. Our chronic stress majorly affects hormones, and we need to shift our mindset to allow for more periods of true rest.

You don’t have to earn it, it’s just necessary. In the course, we will explore how chronic overwhelm from the need to be productive can disrupt your adrenals and mental state. We’ll talk about how rest relates to your values and why you should incorporate it in your day-to-day, not just when you’re feeling burnt out. Finding the rest that’s right for YOU!

XX

Kelley