Love your Summer Body

It’s heating up in Vegas... well it’s already HOT. By the end of May here, we’re already in the 100s!!

I spent the last weekend playing in the pool with Westie, starting up swimming lessons again, and slurping down popsicles.

I also realized that my present excitement was in stark contrast to how I used to feel at the first sign of warmer weather: which was a panicked pressure to lose weight for the many events of summer from weddings to beach vacations. I felt this immense fear and need to get “bikini ready”, and fast. Cue the crash diets and over-exercising.

For years and years, anytime I’d have my birthday coming up, summertime approaching, or a photoshoot, I’d plot how I could lose as much weight as possible in time. Whether it was a pool party with friends, a beach vacation with family, or a wedding I was attending and felt like I needed to be in the smallest-sized bridesmaid's dress.

I’d spend the months, weeks, and days forcing myself to get as small as possible with swirling negative thoughts that fueled me to keep losing in time for the summer season or warm weather event ahead. I’d follow different diets, restrictive food delivery services, and would be work out intensely for at least two hours each day.

My biggest problem was mental. I’d think about how my body would compare to others. I was so damn worried about what people would think about how I looked and maybe think “she’s gained weight” or “she's really let herself go”. Can you relate? I feared the shame and fear of being rejected that I felt when I had to look at yet another picture someone asked me to take on the beach and posted on their account where I hated the way I’d look.

I’d sacrifice MONTHS of my life to these damaging patterns in the hopes that I’d feel OK for that summer season. For that wedding. For that beach day. Sacrificing my mental physical and emotional health along the way.

For the longest time, I had this standing belief that if I could just lose X pounds by the summer or make my body look like “hers” in time for Memorial Day weekend, I would be safe from the comparison (ya right 🙄), the judgment, the feelings of failure and feel comfortable posting photos on Instagram.

Do you know what I learned from years and years of that?

It’s EXHAUSTING. And the feelings I thought I’d prevent, I was making WORSE.

Instead of having fun, or feeling present, or enjoying the season my need to micro-manage my body through chronic dieting, then binge eating, feeding my negative self-talk, and harming my health - it took me away from what life and the joy of the season of summer is all about!!!

What I’ve learned since healing my relationship with food and my body and making it my mission to help others do the same? That “getting your body summer-ready” with diets, over-exercise, and SHAME is a part of our culture and something so many of us are unfortunately faced with.

Whatever fears you have about your body write them down. Just writing them down and becoming aware of them allows you to notice and accept yourself and move through the fears. Judgment free.

Next, like I said above, it’s important to remember that so many women are going through feelings like this. The fears of being judged and holding on to shame. So if your mom, sister, or best friend (someone you really love) brought it to your attention that she had these fears about being judged for her body, that she was planning on restricting and obsessing about food and punishing her body with exercise and feel like a failure when she slipped up for months on end to prepare for summer.

Now in your journal, write how you would feel for these women? These people you love most... what would you tell the people you love most about their bodies? Their health? Their mental well-being?

Those are the things you’re now going to be telling yourself. When you take yourself out of the equation and have that out-of-body experience where you notice the detriment of your triggers you’re better able to take care of yourself with compassion. When you notice how you’d treat someone else, you can more easily transfer that same care to yourself.

And if you’re still feeling the urge to do that next diet or punish yourself on the treadmill for that slice of pizza you had last night here are some more questions you can take to your journal

• How have your past experiences with diets been?
• What did you have to give up in an effort to lose weight? Joy? Experiences? Self-love?
• If you weren’t spending so much time focused on losing weight for the summer, what would that open up the opportunity for you to focus on instead?
• When you’re more in the present moment, living life for your health and happiness rather than your weight, what possibilities open up?
• What would life look like if you loved your body?

And if you’re looking for more support on how to heal your relationship with food and your body image, I have a whole module dedicated to this in my online course and it’s something I work directly with 1:1 clients on in so many of my sessions!

It’s ok not to be in love with every part of your body. Even I still have those bad body image days or negative thoughts. But what’s not ok is thinking that you have to fix those parts. This is a journey of self-acceptance. And that’s what leads to self-love. Know that it’s not your body’s responsibility to make other people feel a certain way.

It’s time to start to prioritize self CARE that leave you feeling connected and full, rather than isolated and depressed, as we transition into this new season. And that care encompasses a whole lot more than weight or getting the body you think you need to get Instagram likes. Your worth has absolutely nothing to do with your weight, your followers, your likes, the food you put in your mouth, or how many miles you ran yesterday.

You, your mind, and your body deserve a summer filled with all of the things that make this season so delicious. You deserve to say yes to rosé, popsicles, fresh fruit, and laying by the pool if you don’t feel like working out. Even if those shorts from last summer don’t fit, even if you aren’t in love with that photo someone posted on your last beach vacation. You deserve all of the sensations of summer RIGHT NOW.

So this summer, my hope for you is that you spend less time looking at your body. Less time picking it apart and judging and criticizing. And more time living in it.

Sending love,

Kelley